The bridge loomed against the night, black stone swallowing the moonlight until only the lake carried any reflection. Cold gathered under the arch, heavy with the damp breath of the water. The chill slid along my skin like silk, a balm instead of a sting, as if the night itself claimed me for what I was. The quiet frost steadied the frantic pulse inside my chest. I found Neir there in his wolf form, a white shadow streaked with blue, luminous golden eyes catching the faint light.
I stepped into that shadow.
“I need to talk to you.” My voice shook, though not from the cold.
He didn’t shift. The great head turned slightly, ears angling toward me.
My arms wrapped around myself. “You’re going to tell me tomorrow isn’t you, right? You’re going to tell me you aren’t the one who’s going to—”
The rest lodged in my throat, sharp as glass. “Please.”
The wolf’s gaze didn’t waver. A ripple of magic shimmered along his shape, but Neir didn’t appear. The shimmer broke apart like mist at dawn. He had tried, but his form did not change. He had already stretched himself too far, holding to his human body night after night. Sun Clan werewolves could only cross between forms in rare eclipses, and though his Moon blood let him bend that law, it took a toll. He had spent himself on training, everything but his own rest. I pressed a palm to his fur.
“Meet me in my dreams,” I whispered, the words unsteady but certain. “I want you there tonight.”
It was the first time I had invited him back into my dreams.
Thick blankets lay tucked in the hollow beneath the bridge. I curled against his side, his great body a wall of heat against the cold stone. Anxious thoughts twisted through me, but a small, dangerous thrill uncurled beneath them. To see him again in that other place. To feel his voice, his presence, without the barrier of his wolf form. My fingers knotted in the blanket as sleep crept close, carrying me with it.
The dream always began in ice and shadow. This time it took shape around us, faint outlines hardening into walls of pale stone and muted light. I barely had time to take in Neir, barefoot, stripped to trousers, as if he belonged to nothing but the moment.
Then his mouth claimed mine, like so many dreams before this one. I lost myself in him, forgetting everything as his body pressed mine into the wall behind me, breath ragged against my lips as he slid a hand under my robes. Fingers trailed up my thigh, insistent, until the fabric of my linen shift bunched high on my hip. His hand didn’t stop until he cupped me between my legs, and the heat of his palm seared through the thin barrier of my underthings, drawing a quick moan from my throat.
My hands tangled in his hair, tugging him closer as his teeth grazed down my neck until they closed around one of my nipples, biting through the fabric of my robes. Sensation crackled hot, sharp, dangerous. I arched into him, need pulling me deeper into the current the dream wanted to carry.
Something buzzed at the back of my hazy head.
This was not right.
For the first time, I noticed the difference between this dream and the others we’d shared in the past. I was clothed. My robes hung heavy on my body, a tether to who I was meant to be, not who I might become in his arms. The recognition pierced through the dream’s fog, clearing the edges.
“No,” I whispered, pushing weakly at his chest, forcing space between us. “Not this time.”
Neir’s golden eyes burned as he lifted his head and withdrew his hand from between my thighs. The message in his soft gaze promised he would follow wherever I led. The air still hummed with heat, but I clutched my robes and steadied my breath.
“I invited you here to talk.” Though shaking, my voice stayed firm. “We can’t just keep doing this just because we are in a dream.”
The ache of our desire hummed in the air, but no matter how much I wanted to be in his arms, I stilled myself.
Heat smoldered in his eyes as he spoke softly to me, “Little Moon.”
“Don’t call me that unless you can tell me the truth.” My hands ached from clenching them. “I need to know.”
He leaned into the space between us. I hated the look of understanding on his face.
“What do you want to know?”
I wrapped my arms around myself, grateful that I was at least wearing clothing, something that was not always a guarantee in my dreams with him.
My voice was barely above a whisper. “Everything.”
He tilted his head in thought. “I will tell you everything I’m able to reveal, but I feel there’s something more specific you are asking me right now.”
I nodded, holding back tears. I needed to know about the one thing that kept me from going to him right now even though my body yearned for his. I also needed to know if he planned to leave me tomorrow night, to give his life to save my friend, my once lover. I chose to start there.
“Someone will die tomorrow night.” I swallowed through my tight throat. “I’ve been turning this over all night. If you’re the one… if you mean to give yourself up—”
He shook his head. “We haven’t decided yet.”
Something latched onto my heart, squeezing it, like wringing out a wet towel, and breath stalled in my chest.
“Rielle.”
That was the first time he’d ever said my name and not Little Moon, and for some reason, the air shifted in my lungs. I drew a deep breath as I bent at the waist. His arms were there, so fast, holding me up.
I couldn’t help it. I slipped my own arms around his waist and buried my face against his hard chest.
His arms wrapped around me. “What’s this, Little Moon? Will you miss me?”
For a brief second, I dug my nails into his back. “You know I will.”
He slipped a hand along my jaw to tilt my head back, meeting my gaze. His words were soft, like a lazy snowfall. “I don’t want to leave you now that I’ve found you.”
I blinked back tears and took a deep breath. His scent filled me, and desire was quick to ignite, my body aching to feel his touch. But it quickly washed away with all my doubts. I placed a hand on his chest, meaning to push away again, but the strength left my arm at the feel of his skin beneath my palm.
So many questions came to my lips, but I finally plucked one out of the chaos, lowering my eyes as I asked it. “Are you in love with Isa?”
His thumb swept across my cheek. “No, Little Moon.”
I peeked up at him and believed the sincerity I found there. “What is between the two of you?”
“Now?” he asked. When I remained silent, he continued. “We are old friends, and I respect her. Once there was more, but that was nearly five hundred years ago.”
He must have recognized the jealousy I found hard to control because he chuckled. “If I recall, there’s been less time since your last relationship, and depending how everything goes tomorrow, I could be giving my life to save the man who last had your heart.”
I bit my lip, realizing he was right.
“Besides,” he said, “Isa’s heart was never open to me. She has been, and probably always will be, in love with a Water Fae pirate.”
Somehow, his revelations soothed the ache in her chest, but panic worked its way back in.
“I don’t want you to die.”
“I don’t want to die.”
A sudden epiphany struck. “If I’m not there, you will have the only Moon magic available. They will need you for the Transmutation spell.”
He raised an eyebrow. “That is true, but there’s nothing stopping Isa from finding another Moon magic user and training them. It means whoever is meant to be Transmutated lives a few days longer, but if it’s meant to be me, there’s no stopping it. Only prolonging the time until my death.”
He was right, again. I hated how useless I felt in all of this. I was useless in almost every regard, and I couldn’t help voicing that fact. “They still don’t need me. My magic is so weak, that you’re the one doing most of the work anyway. You could do it alone.”
“You’re right, Little Moon. I could stand in your place and the spell would work.”
The admission hit harder than I’d expected, even though I’d already known it.
“But your friends don’t have that choice.” His hand slid to my neck. “They’ll be there, whether they want to or not, because they have no other way to save Halven. So, you could walk away… but wouldn’t they feel stronger with you there? Wouldn’t you?”
The answer pressed at the back of my teeth, hot and reluctant.
“And as for me...” His eyes didn’t leave mine. “I’ve lived longer than most kingdoms have stood. I’ve fought with magic strong enough to bring down walls. But nothing has ever made me feel as weak as I feel when you’re not near me.”
Something splintered inside. My hand lifted before I could stop it, finding the line of his jaw, cold and warm at once.
“I don’t want to watch you die,” I whispered. “I don’t want to be part of that.”
He leaned his forehead on mine. “I don’t want you too either. But even if you can’t change the ending, I want no one else to next to me but you.”
He closed his eyes. “Be there for me, Little Moon.”
Could I really do that? The implications crashed over me. I had been so worried about Neir dying tomorrow night, about his relationship with Isa, that the act of doing the spell, of being successful, hit me.
I stepped away from Neir, and his eyes flew open as his hand dropped.
“I don’t think I can do this.” I fought tears again. “How can I knowingly take a life?”
“The life given to the spell will ensure the world is protected from the magic in the lake. We cannot let them out.”
“What if it’s not enough? What if we kill someone, and it doesn’t work to keep the entities trapped? We’ve already failed so many times.”
“I understand the dilemma. I understand the chance of failure. But if it takes my life to try to save everyone, to save our world, I’m willing to do that. I’m a guardian of magic after all.” The light in his golden eyes brightened. “And I hope that you’re there, standing with me, whether or not it works.”